12:41 p.m. - 2007-03-19
"Its Not the Size, its How it Fits the Wife?"
I have had an entry floating in my head for a few days, that sounds great when I'm lying in bed (and the humor of that will occur later). Get me in front of the computer, and it starts to sound...like bad porn. I think.
I've decided to let it out, because if I've had the same damn idea for a few nights in a row, I guess it should be shared. So here goes.
The warning: its graphic, and female, and not bloody.
I have, for many years, known that my er..oh hell, correct words it is...vagina is wider than usual. Like for 20 years. I've always found the jokes about guys 'hung like a horse' amusing, simply because I've yet to find one! And believe me, I've tried. The list is long....and varied....and I've had multiple long term relationships, so I've really done the research. It was all fun and games and NOT ONE eye poked out.
The other part of this is that I've always heard that vaginal orgasms and clitoral orgasms are different. Well, I had no clue what that meant, simply because the "G" spot stimulus wasn't happening.
I started to get a clue after I acquired my first toy. Since then (nine or ten years later) the toys have gotten longer, and girth-y-er (that damn hot dog commercial used to crack me up! I mean, come on. Can you say sex sells any less subtly??) Last year, I really got serious about the girth thing - hell, I told one of the reps they needed to put the girth as well as the length in the description of their vibrators. I finally found one that works pretty well...Buck calls it the 'pussy stretcher' and for once, I have to agree. And Friday night, I found out what the difference between vaginal and clitoral orgasms feels like. I'm just...very very happy about this! heheh (I'm starting to feel like a freaking middle school kid, all giggly and blushing)
So, has anyone else run into this? I mean, everyone notices size things and shapes to some extent, but have you had to work at getting sex right in all aspects? After all the stupid books and advice and whatnot, why hasn't anyone addressed the simple fact of anatomical differences? "Its Not the Size, its How it Fits the Wife?"
So, there ya go. Its not deep, thoughtful or insightful but it should give you something to think about. Giggle if you must!
Off to do laundry, and purging of clutter.
