10:03 a.m. - 2008-01-17
Real philosophy....philosopically real
So, yeah...I know you shouldn't mix philosophy and reality, but hey, I never said I followed rules.
Philosophic:
As I'm washing the clothes of my oldest daughter, I do not get nostalgic for the time when she was small. Really. Call me callous, or just unsentimental(snorts) but I find more joy watching how my girls are changing, than to want to 're-live' when they were babies.
I guess this still falls under my personal philosophy:
CHANGE IS GOOD.
Generally.
I could of course waffle with the "...except when its not..." bit, however, I'm not in the mood. I will say that, yes, it can be painful, or hard, and even devastating. But, like playing the stock market, you get more good (or money, heh) in the long run.
no reason for the above, I guess it is just to remind myself that while I may cry at commercials, or tear up when listening to someone relate a sad story, overall, I'm not the got-dam sap my mother is
Reality:
I'm becoming addicted to the paycheck again. I have to balance my want of cash, with remembering that I don't send my kids to school sick, or with bloody noses (from the dry air!! I don't hit them in the face!)* and it won't kill me to live with less cash. I certainly won't run out of yarn, and one less day in a pair of shoes now, means one more day for work later. Again, this may sound callous, but this is where I expected to be 6 years ago. The 6 years I spent dealing with depression, an oblivious husband and what not. So, its not quite bitterness, not quite exploding with joy. Somewhere in the middle.
Aw, hell...it comes back to balance again. I should know better!! :)
Ok, off to tend to my no longer bleeding, but still wary, little one.
*if you can't read a joke and interpret it...I'm sorry.
