7:14 p.m. - 2008-09-15
Cars, wishes, books....
So, lets see...where was I? Oh yeah, cranking about the job. No difference, except I am working slllooowwwly. Trying to minimize the errors. So far, not bad.
Today? I drove about 150 miles. In a loaner car, while my vehicle was being looked at. For the second time in a week. And, tomorrow? Gonna be driving again. Not quite the same distance, but time wise, darned close.
My lovely Axiom has something wrong, and our 'regular' mechanic, isn't an Isuzu tech, so off to a former Isuzu dealer...to be told that the repair was replacing the ENTIRE wiring harness. To the tune of $1200. GULP
So, in the interest of Buck's bank account, I will be spending some unknown amount of time greater than an hour prowling around Keene, NH. Via dealer shuttle! Help....me.....
I'll be taking a crochet project, and a book. If I can find a bookstore, life will be truly grand. Not that I can spend any money, cuz payday is Wednesday, but I can think of much worse ways to kill time, than sitting in a bookstore!
After checking Superpages.com....Oooooohh...3 bookstores within a very short distance of the dealer. Which do I start with? The local one...its not bad, and I've been to the small branch. The comics one? Hehe....shall I be subversive for a day? Well...for another day. Or, Borders? They will most likely have the most of what I want to read, and a cafe, as well. Choices...all good choices, which are the kind I like. Since they did offer to move me around, as necessary, if I end up waiting, I'll be damned sure to use what I have available! I could end up at two or all three.
I've got to start making more of the fingerless gloves. I could go through a LOT of my small, but nonetheless encroaching, stash. Hats are quick, too.
Pardon my jumping around. I know my depression is creeping in, and as with all mental stuff, there is always some mania to help you think you are ok. For a minute. Then, that night lying in bed...you start thinking the most morbid thoughts and you realize things aren't right. Which is why I have an appointment on Thursday to discuss meds, and which ones I'll be starting.
On Thursday!
I am better at recognising the symptoms, five years into this. I'm gonna nip this in the bud, and hope that I find a med I can use long term. Medicine dancing is not my idea of fun. I know this was kick-started by my job change. I knew it would be coming, this downward spiral, after not liking my job. I just hoped it would level off. No such luck.
Now, I'm just hoping it will make doing my job less stressful to my soul. I know the physical weariness will continue. Its not possible to have to concentrate to the degree necessary, and not be tired.
Today is the kind of day that makes me wish I'd found something to be passionate about, that I could make a living doing. It doesn't happen often, but it hits hard when I've spent the day doing shit-work and have nothing to look forward to.
Off to figure out what to take tomorrow. And to remind Buck to leave a check, and gas money.
