Before the first day is gone, I'll write a bit. I've heard that what you do on January first, you'll be doing for the rest of the year. With that in mind I gave and got gifts (excellent start), I got to spend the Eve out, with friends...and specific particular friends were there (well done if you ask me...), and I have found something that is allowing me to NOT stuff my face to fill the emotional vacuum I was unaware existed. Oh, and I'm writing an entry. I'm good with these things in place.

I cannot elaborate on what is helping, but I can say: "Uh, HOLY HELL, this is what the problem is/was?!?" with complete sincerity and utter shock.  I am content. I am able to do the crap, things I hate with a passion, more easily. I'll never be the perfect housekeeper/wife/mom, but this is certainly taking some of the edge off.

This...thing, was buried so far down that I didn't know it was there. It was quite startling to find out that a) it was there and b) this was the fix in one fell swoop. I'm evidently quite good at burying the one thing that is this important. Even when I'm able to be glaringly honest about others.

Ok, enough code. I really dislike trying to decipher it in other's blogs, although I certainly do honor their right to silence.  It just makes me confused; I hate confused, heh.

Lets leave this quarter's entry at, I think its gonna be better than 2009. I hope my cure, for lack of a better descriptor, continues. And I wish all the best to you and yours!

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